Wednesday, JANUARY 25, 2023 @ 4:42 PM ET
DAY 24
SOME FAMILY DRAMA
I invited Tony to stop by last night for dinner. He was at the hospital all day and didn’t get anything to eat. I let him know that my home was his home. He came by and ate his fill and stayed to chat for a while before going back to his mother’s home to spend the night.
Isn’t there always some family drama? I don’t interact as much because of it. And I’m talking both sides of our family. You always hurt the ones you love. So so true! I was a stressed single mom and I regret all the yelling I did when raising my child. He was such an easygoing kid and the light of my life. He didn’t deserve to be the brunt of my mistakes. I’ve told him over and over how much I love him through the years, and I pray it overrode any drama he endured.
My sister took drama to a whole new level. Unfortunately, her kids became as stressed out as she was. She forgot to tell them she loved them. Tony became an over-achiever trying to measure up. He shared that with me once.
So that accounts for my son removing himself from his cousins and not speaking to them. When he started his family, he did not want that negative coming to his wife and children.
I stayed away from Joyce for a few years because she can be so nasty at times. Our mother was friendly and upbeat, so I don’t know where it came from. Could be depression which nobody knew about in year’s past? There just always seemed to be a black cloud following her. Her kids became clones of her. Tony left after he graduated high school to escape it. Carol stayed and some of her drama hit the family and me. I had to chastise her once for the way she talked to me. I told her to leave until she could straighten up her attitude. She did try and apologized to me. I welcomed her back. She truly was trying.
So here we are. Clyde is starting to look like the bad guy because he stopped talking to both of them; He never explained to them what the problem was. The enemy deserves to know what he’s being accused of. He didn’t know how to put it in words. So, I pray that my son finds a way to forgive them and get back to speaking terms.
There’s a whole lot more to this story but I am going to stop here and hope that you got a little bit of an understanding of my explanation.
I really love my sister, just not her ways. And what she is going through is hitting me hard now.
We have a lot of snow falling all day long and it’s getting high. My new snow service will be out around 6:00 pm.
I got to go now!
Shirley Slaughter
Shirley Harris-Slaughter 
I understand what you’re going through. You loved your sister but hated how she treated you, but you shouldn’t feel guilty since you did what was best for your family, as you are doing now.
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Hi Shirley, family issues can be so difficult to deal with. Honestly, once I’ve done everything I can, I make a point to pray for guidance. Actually, I pray for that generically every day, but sometimes, things like this require even more prayer. I’m sorry your family is going through a tough time. If I know anything, it’s that you’re a strong lady. Please know that Joyce and you and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Best wishes,
Donna M. Atwood
D. M. Atwood
https://www.dmatwood.com
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Thanks Donna!
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Hi, Shirley,
I finally wrote you an email regarding to the two comments that didn‘t show up on your blog. Reading this post, I think it was the appropriate time to send it. I sent it over RRBC‘s email address so Paula will let you know and transfer the email to you when she has time.
As for your family, they are in my prayers.
Take care.
Shalom aleichem
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Pat, I’ll look for your email. Thank you so much.
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Shirley, family drama is so soul-crushing, and even one person can create that atmosphere that poisons a group. I’m sorry you have that as well as the illness of your sister to deal with. You are navigating it gracefully and will be at peace with that. Hoping your sister improves and the family dynamic as well.
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My parents and their extended families and past generations have all sorts of baggage and drama. My sister and I decided to be the break in the chain and not allow that negative energy to enter our homes or influence our children. It hasn’t been easy, but we always keep each other in check whenever we feel that drama is crossing into our imaginary boundary. We have watched extended family members explode (and implode) and have kept our distance. They chose their paths; we chose ours and are quite happy with our choices. I hope you find peace for yourself. It’s up to the rest of them to find their own peace. Sending hugs your way…
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
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Yvette, I know that some of us tried to keep our distance over the years. It shortens your life and the quality.
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Hi Shirley–There’s always family drama. If my January 23rd blog post had made it (my bad, because I posted it on Twitter and then got interrupted and didn’t post it on the RRBC site), you would have seen some big-time drama from mine. It is posted on my site, in case you want to read it. I don’t know why families get that way with each other. I only have one person left in my family, my sister, and she has moved 1,000 miles away from me. Her politics and mine don’t align, and her husband is “the man of the house,” and what he says goes, if you know what I mean. I believe marriages are partnerships and not dictatorships, so he and I are–let’s say–not best friends. They’re big gun people, too, and I don’t like guns. Our other sister (there were three girls in my family) died from leukemia in 2006. As the oldest, I was always the peacemaker in the family, but sometimes I got tired of that role. That’s one of the reasons I like to hit a little yellow tennis ball and take my frustrations out on that!
Take care of yourself.
Wanda
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Wanda, it’s funny, but Bill is the peacemaker in our large and inclusive family, and he’s the one who hits that little yellow tennis ball! I wonder if tennis and peacemaking go hand-in-hand.
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Wanda why am I always surprised that I’m not the only one experiencing family drama? It’s comforting just knowing that you understand. I think we are all afraid of pre-judgement. I’m laughing at your comment. I feel a little better now as I am having some highs and lows about my sister’s situation.
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Wanda, I am working my way to all the posts I missed. I definitely want to hear what you have to say. Thank you my friend.
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My post for that day didn’t make it on the list because I made an error and didn’t post it in time with RRBC. I’m not in the challenge any more. I can send you the link when the challenge is over.
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ok. I’ll be waiting.
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Shirley, I can see that you’re struggling with this and you’d like peace and love, but hand this over to God and protect your own peace. Pray for these grown people who have made their own decisions. There are underlying hurts and misunderstandings that you may never understand and they may not be able to articulate. Love each of them the way you’re doing and let a higher power work it out.
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Linda, thanks for the sound advice.
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You’re welcome!🤗
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Every one of us has baggage of some sort to carry around. Could be family members not talking to one another or some dreadful secret. I have one in my family – my younger brother. He’s my daughter’s godfather but something happened 10 yrs. ago that resulted in him avoiding us and not talking to us at all. We don’t have a clue as to what triggered his animosity. During holiday visits to my two sisters, he’ll be in another room and doesn’t acknowledge us at all. If we say HI, he’ll bob his head. We’re all adults, and it’s a shame he acts this way…but this is his choice and I’m not going to lose sleep over it. By the way, Shirley, we got 7 inches by us and it took me an hour to clear up the drive and sidewalks with the snowblower. The snow was wet and heavy. More expected this weekend!
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John, how can someone sit in another room and not say anything. My son just won’t come around them. I don’t know which is worse.
Yes, I hired a new snow removal service and he did a good job at a reasonable price. This snow came down slowly and steady all day long and that’s what makes it a problem.
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From what I’ve gotten to know about you, Shirley, you are a good and caring woman. I have no doubt that you will find a way to establish a relationship between your son and his cousins. Although we don’t always like our family members, love tries to find a way to connect. You don’t have to like someone to love them. I wish you the best.
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Karen, Clyde was the giver, the one with the sunshiny smile, the nice guy, and they were takers and rude. He got tired and decided to stop being around them. He just never told them. I limited my time with Joyce to avoid her drama. They were all toxic. Tony left to get his life back and Carol struggled trying to find her own peace. At a time like this, you get to see all the flaws come out.
Thank you for your comment.
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Oh, Shirley, I pray that God heals all wounds and helps the kids get over their issues and talk to each other. Continued silence might be more comfortable at times, but in the long run, it only hurts more. Forgiving old hurts is healing. The drama might continue because of personality differences, but it doesn’t have to tear a family apart. I pray your family draws closer to each other. I love that your niece is trying, and that you welcomed her back.
Refusing to forgive and move on is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. I know. I see it in my own family with my son, who hasn’t spoken to me in eleven years. He’s causing himself more damage than he’ll ever cause me, and I pray he finds his peace soon. I still don’t know what I did. As you say, “The enemy deserves to know what he (she) is being accused of.” I forgave him long ago. Now it’s his turn.
Blessings!
Patty
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I’m so sorry Patty, that you and your son have not been able to find common ground. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming that the only thing you can do is turn it over to God. That’s what I’m doing.
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